Think about the last time a child succeeded at something. Made the team, got an A, won the game. There was probably celebration, right? Of course. Wins deserve recognition. But here's the question: what about all the times they tried hard and didn't win? The test they studied for but still failed. The team they didn't make despite practicing for months. The recital where they froze up even though they'd practiced perfectly at home. If we only celebrate the wins, we're acciden

Let's talk about something that sounds productive but can actually backfire: tracking a child's progress. We're not saying we shouldn't pay attention to whether kids are learning and growing. Of course we should. But somewhere along the way, progress tracking became this whole production. Charts on the wall. Apps that send daily reminders. Sticker systems that require a PhD to understand. And here's what happens: the tracking becomes more stressful than the actual goal. A chi

If you've spent any time in parenting circles or school meetings lately, you've heard about growth mindset. It's the idea that abilities can be developed through effort and learning, as opposed to being fixed traits you're born with. Sounds great, right? And it is. Except here's where it gets tricky: somewhere along the way, growth mindset became a script. Add "yet" to the end of sentences. Praise effort over results. Tell kids their brains are like muscles. But if you're fin

Let's start with a scene you might recognize: It's January, a child announces they're going to read 100 books this year, practice piano every single day, and make straight A's. Two weeks later? The books are gathering dust, the piano is silent, and everyone feels a bit defeated. Sound familiar? Here's the thing, goal-setting with kids is tricky because we're often working against two extremes. Either the goals are so vague they're meaningless ("I want to do better in school")

Why Resolutions Don't Work (Especially for Kids) Every January, we do this thing where we declare what we're going to change about ourselves. We're going to exercise more. Eat healthier. Be more organized. Read more books. And then by February, most of us have given up. Now imagine that cycle for your child. They declare they're going to "get better at math" or "make more friends" and then... nothing really changes. Because declarations without plans are just wishes. And fail

The Achievement Trap We're All Caught In We live in a culture obsessed with measurable success. GPA. Test scores. Competition results. College acceptance rates. And look, I'm not saying those things don't matter. But when they become the only things we celebrate, we send a dangerous message to our kids. We tell them that their value is tied to performance. That being a good person counts less than being a high achiever. That effort only matters if it results in visible succes

You've tried everything. You've set up a homework routine. You've talked to teachers. You've tried rewards and consequences. You've helped with organization. You've been patient and supportive. And your child is still struggling. Here's what's probably happening: you're addressing the wrong problem. Not because you're doing anything wrong, but because it's really hard to see what's actually getting in the way. When a child struggles academically, we tend to jump straight to s

Picture this: Two kids take the same test. Both get a C. One child looks at the grade, feels disappointed for a minute, and moves on. They ask the teacher what they got wrong and make a plan to study differently next time. The other child sees that C and falls apart. They cry. They shut down. They declare they're stupid and school is pointless. They refuse to even look at what they got wrong because it feels too overwhelming. Same test. Same grade. Completely different reacti

Let's start with a scenario you've probably lived through a hundred times. Your child sits down to do homework. You've set up everything they need. Books, pencils, a quiet space. They know what they're supposed to do. But 20 minutes later, they're still sitting there. Staring at the page. Fidgeting. Getting up for water. Starting and stopping. Getting frustrated. Meanwhile, that same child spent three hours yesterday building an elaborate world in Minecraft. Completely focuse

Let's talk about something that's probably keeping you up at night. Your child is smart. You know this. Their teachers know this. But somehow, school is still a struggle. They forget their homework. They lose track of assignments. They study for the test but freeze when it's time to take it. They can explain a concept perfectly at home but can't show what they know on paper. And everyone keeps telling you the same thing: "They just need to apply themselves more." "They need t