Practical Coping Strategies for Kids: What Actually Works When Emotions Run High

Brigid McCormick
Oct 16
3 min read

Children in a classroom appearing bored and tired, with books open on desks. A teacher stands in the background holding papers.

I used to think the kid who couldn't do breathing exercises was just being "difficult." Turns out, I was asking him to use a Ferrari-level skill when he was still learning to ride a bicycle.

Most traditional coping strategies assume kids already have emotional regulation skills. But what works for children who are just beginning to understand their emotions, let alone manage them?

Why Traditional Coping Strategies Often Fail Kids

The Deep Breathing Problem Deep breathing requires focus, body awareness, and the ability to slow down racing thoughts. For an anxious child, this can feel impossible.

The "Think Positive" Trap Telling kids to "think happy thoughts" when they're genuinely distressed invalidates their experience and assumes cognitive flexibility they might not have yet.

The One-Size-Fits-All Issue What calms one child might activate another. Some kids need movement, others need stillness. Some need noise, others need quiet.

Practical Coping Strategies That Actually Work

Movement-Based Strategies

Wall push-ups (great for classrooms)
Invisible jump rope
Tense and release muscle groups
Shake it out like a wet dog

Sensory-Based Strategies

Child wearing blue headphones, drawing with a pen at a table. Stuffed toys nearby, grey couch in background. Calm and focused mood.

Hold ice cubes or a cold water bottle
Squeeze a stress ball or make fists
Listen to specific songs with headphones
Use textured objects like velcro or fidget tools

Age-Appropriate Cognitive Strategies

Count backwards from 50
Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can touch
Create mental categories (pizza toppings, animals, colors)
Use simple mantras like "This feeling will pass"

Creative Expression Strategies

Scribble drawing (no rules, just movement)
Tear paper into tiny pieces
Build something with clay or playdough
Write or draw worries

Making Practical Coping Strategies Stick

Practice When Calm The time to learn coping strategies isn't during a crisis. Practice these tools when kids are regulated and can think clearly.

Create Strategy Menus Help each child identify their top 3-5 strategies. Write them down or create visual reminders they can access easily.

Make Them Accessible Strategies only work if kids can actually use them. This means having materials available and permission to use them when needed.

Age-Specific Modifications

A group doing arm stretches in a park, led by a man in a white shirt. Green trees and grass create a lively outdoor setting.

Elementary Age (5-10): Focus on concrete, physical strategies. Use visual and sensory elements. Keep instructions simple and make it feel like play.

Middle School (11-13): Introduce more cognitive strategies. Respect their need for independence and offer multiple choices.

High School (14-18): Focus on portable strategies they can use anywhere. Discuss the science behind why strategies work and encourage personalization.

What to Do When Strategies Don't Work

Remember that no strategy works 100% of the time. If a strategy isn't working, try a different sensory approach, check if the child is too activated right now, or consider if they need connection before coping.

Sometimes the best coping strategy is simply having an adult who stays calm and present while the child works through their emotions.

The goal isn't to eliminate stress and anxiety, but to give kids tools they can actually use when life gets overwhelming.

Free Resource: The Calm Down Toolkit

Download our free Calm Down Toolkit - 15 practical coping strategies designed specifically for kids, with visual guides and implementation tips for parents and educators.