How to Build Routines That Actually Stick (Even for Kids Who Resist Structure)

You’ve tried routine charts. 

You’ve reminded (and re-reminded). 

You’ve offered rewards, timers, and consequences. 

And yet... routines fall apart faster than you can rebuild them.

If that sounds familiar, it’s not because you’re doing it wrong—it’s because executive function challenges require a different approach to structure.

Why Typical Routines Don’t Work for Every Brain

For neurodivergent kids, executive function challenges can make it hard to:

• Remember multi-step sequences

• Shift from one task to another

• Stay motivated when tasks feel boring or unclear

The result? Your child either can’t follow the routine or won’t—because it’s overwhelming, confusing, or constantly interrupted.

How to Create a Routine That Works

1. Make It Visual and Concrete

Use visual checklists, charts, or photos to show each step clearly (e.g., “brush teeth” + image). Kids with working memory challenges benefit from seeing what to do—not just hearing it.

2. Break It Down into Micro-Steps

“Get ready for school” is not one task—it’s 15. Break it down into steps that are easy to complete and check off.

3. Build in Flexibility and Recovery 

Expect disruptions. That doesn’t mean the system is broken—it means it’s real life. Create routines that are easy to restart when things get off track (e.g., don’t overfill them with time-sensitive steps).

4. Involve Your Child 

Ask: “What part of the morning is hardest?” or “What helps you remember what to do next?” Let them help design the system—it boosts buy-in and self-awareness.

In conclusion...

Routines aren’t magic—but the right ones can make life feel a whole lot easier. When we work with our child’s brain instead of fighting against it, we open the door to real progress. Your routine doesn’t have to be perfect—just useful, restartable, and tailored to your family’s real life. You’ve got this.

 👉 Download This Week’s Resource: Routine Builder Template

 A fill-in-the-blank visual tool to help your child remember steps, stay on task, and feel more in control of their daily routine.

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